» Comics - Ch.3 Pg.05


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The composition isn't quite working. I realize the three panels on the top and bottom are supposed to lead into the middle, but it feels more like that middle panel leads into the bottom three, which is confusing at first. The art and angles look good, though. In fact, I think you could have probably just gotten away with that one middle panel for the whole page alone, but that's just me.
Here's hoping he's not about to get kicked in the head. That'll hurt.

posted by melaredblu on October 17th, 2013, 6:05 pm





 
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@melaredblu: ugh I know, but going back and redoing it now will put me behind @_@ once I kick myself back into gear and get my buffer back up, im gonna go back back and fix up a few pages XD

posted by Past-Chaser on October 17th, 2013, 9:58 pm





 
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@Past-Chaser: Don't overwhelm yourself with fixes, though. Focus on the future. Even with the composition oddness, it's still a good-looking page.

posted by melaredblu on October 17th, 2013, 10:44 pm





 
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hmm well i kinda liked how you went about this pg, true that just the middle panel would have worked but i thought it was cool to see a mini timeline of their expressions in a 5 second span ;)

granted i too was confused for a second but i immediately noticed what you were doing and didn't really dwell on that momentary confusion at all

i'm guessing it was significant that we see that sadness akira is showing in that 1st expression, maybe he's thinking about his mom

posted by Metric_muse on October 20th, 2013, 2:00 am





 
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@melaredblu: well it wont be any time soon, at the very least XD

posted by Past-Chaser on October 20th, 2013, 9:52 am





 
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@Metric_muse: yes, akiras first panel emotion was a thing I wanted to show!

posted by Past-Chaser on October 20th, 2013, 9:53 am





 
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@Past-Chaser: ok cool lol i figured it was relevant to the story in some way :)

posted by Metric_muse on October 20th, 2013, 5:19 pm



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